Destiny
by Silverbellsb
Summary: In the Forgetful Valley, Azula dreams of Yue, who gives her a chance to heal her mind and take hold of her true destiny. It's just Azula's luck, though, that Yue's path leads her to the Beifong Metalbending Academy... where Toph and her students are up for a personality-bending challenge. slowlybecomingreformed!Azula
1. Prologue

**Hello there, fellow ATLA fanatics!  
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**This is my first Avatar fanfic - written to reconcile my overwhelming feels about what happened to Azula at the end of "the Search". The scene I wrote out is mostly a novelization of the last few pages of that comic, starting from when Zuko leaps forward to heroically defend his mother. :3  
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**And since I am a failure at writing Author's Notes (or coming up with titles, for that matter) let me just spare you the pain of reading this any longer... **

**Okay, lights, laptop, ACTION!**

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><p><em>She's not sure if she's trying to kill him, or just lash out at him till he begs for mercy. <em>

_Her blue flames are aimed randomly – at his face, his torso, his arms, blindly just trying to make him hurt. To make him _burn_, the way her whole world is burning, going up in flames until all she can see is fire and ashes._

_CRACK!_

_Her foot swings into the sparse furniture in the little house – the cupboards, this time. _

_FWOOM!_

_Blue fire crackles, heaves, as dangerous and insane as its master._

_WHOOSH!_

_Her blazing fist comes so, so close to melting and disfiguring the other half of his face. Right now, she wants him to crumble to the floor, the way she struck him down after their last Agni Kai. She wants to watch him writhe on the ground, surrounded by her flames; she wants him to look at her the way he used to look at her._

_With fear._

_But there's no fear now; just a determination she's never seen on his face before – a prince – no, a king – fighting for the ones he loves._

_Love…_

_That's why she wants him to fall._

_Because of his foolish weakness._

_He loves._

_And she's glad he doesn't –_

_SLASH!_

_Love –_

_CRACK!_

_Her._

_WHAM! FWISH! ZING!_

"_Oh, for crying out loud!" she rails at him, falling back; she's panting, and black spots are fizzing at the edges of her vision. Balls of lightning spit and crackle at each fingertip. "Hold STILL!"_

"_Don't do it." He sounds like Ozai almost; each word hitting her in the heart. "I told you already, I know how to deal with your lightning. I can redirect it _anywhere_."_

_She stares at him, almost hyperventilating now. He's so weak. So WEAK! She could crush him like the lotus petal he is. She could stab him where it would hurt the most – but all the sadistic things she used to run by his ear are gone, dried up into nothingness. Her mind is blank but for one thought:_

_Why HIM?_

_Why HIM?_

_Why is he always getting in her way?_

_WHY CAN'T SHE STRIKE HIM DOWN?_

"_AAARGH!"_

_Her frustration tears out of her throat in a yell, and she fires at him the most powerful bolt of lightning she can muster._

_KA – RACK!_

_Engulfed in its blue-white light, he stretches out his arms – graceful as a river current – and catches the bolt on two fingers. _

_And then, just as he said he would, he redirects it – right back at her._

_KRAAKABOOM!_

_She feels a white-hot flash of pain and crashes backward into the smoldering remains of an armoire, groaning as it's consumed by blue flames. Her head throbs, spins, and when she looks up, she first sees Fire Lord Sozin standing before her – and then she blinks, and the illusion turns back into HIM._

"_Don't you get it, Zuzu?" she cries out. "You and I will finally be free!" She can't help hearing the raggedness of her voice, the furious desperation. "You of a throne you never wanted, and me of this incessant nagging in my head!"_

_Behind him, that woman – Noriko, her mother – no, NOT her mother! She has NO MOTHER! – is staring, her face clouded by a thousand battling emotions._

_She ignores the filthy peasant now. Her eyes, burning from the smoke, are fixed on him. His scarred face, which could be the face of a monster – but instead, it's the face of true honor._

"_No," he says quietly – WHY WON'T HE GET ANGRY? WHY WON'T HE GET ANGRY SO SHE CAN RAGE AT HIM, DESTORY HIM – "You're wrong."_

_Her chest is heaving._

"_Oh, stop kidding yourself!" she hurls at him, whipping the folded-up letter out of her pocket, crushing it between her two fingers. "The other morning, when you had me over the cliff, why didn't you just let go? You could have gotten rid of me AND the letter!"_

_Hysteria is starting to take over, and her features twist into a mirthless smile._

"_It would have been so easy!" she exclaims. Her vision lurches, and for a moment, there are two of him standing there, then three, then just one again. "Admit it! You need ME to help you be free!" _

_But he's not even looking at her. He's pulling his own treasure out of his pocket – the Fire Lord's crown. The one that should have been on HER head. He looks down at it, then looks up again – straight into her eyes. _

"_Deep down, I know – I've always known – that the throne is my destiny." He gathers his dark hair into a topknot and attaches the crown to it._

_And for a moment, all of her arguments die on her tongue, because he's not the fragile spring blossom she knew as a child, nor the angry whiner he was during his journey to capture the Avatar. _

_He's admirable, venerable, and unquestionably honored._

_He is the Fire Lord._

_And what does that make her?_

"_That morning on the cliff…" His eyes reflect her blue firelight. "Azula, our relationship is so messed up. It's been like that as long as I can remember. And maybe it'll be like that for the rest of our lives." _

_He pauses here, and looks down at her, sprawled on the floor at his feet, just barely pushing herself upright. Something in his eyes flickers. _

"_But one fact never changes," he says quietly. "No matter what, you're still my sister."_

_That's when she loses all sense of everything else, because she refuses to comprehend what those words imply – what he might be trying to say…_

_And that is when the thin thread that's been holding her together breaks._

"_Shut up," she whispers. _

_His words are crashing in her ears like seawater in a cave, hammering their way into her mind, no matter how desperately she shoves them away, and the only thing she can do is block out the turmoil inside her with a roar –_

"_SHUT UP!" she yells again, her voice shattering, and blindly she flings a fireball at him. He blocks it without a flinch, the hot waves of air blowing back his hair and robes, his crown glinting –_

_She can't stand the sight of him any longer._

_The letter flutters to the ground as she runs, still blinded by tears she doesn't realize she has in her eyes. _

_KRASH!_

_She bursts out the door, running, running, running –_

"_Azula!" _

_He's calling out to her, but she doesn't CARE! She DOESN'T! He means NOTHING to her!_

"_Come back!"_

_She WON'T!_

"_Come back! Please!"_

_NO!_

_She sees them all in front of her; Azulon to her left and Ozai to her right, and Ursa – in her Fire Princess robes and crown, arms outstretched – is calling her too:_

"_I can help you!"_

_His voice is almost overpowering Ursa's, but they're both saying the same thing; their voices combine into a force that propels her even farther away –_

"_I WANT to help you!"_

_That's just his voice now. All the others – her grandfather, her mother, her father – vanish, and now…_

_It's just him._

_She jerks around sharply to face him, hardly aware of the burning tears pouring down her face, and hurls at him her last feeble blow:_

"_Same as always, Zuzu." Her voice is cracking. Broken. "Even when you're strong – you're weak."_

_Then she turns on her heel and runs straight ahead, past thick bushes and tall grasses and straight towards a pass between two cliffs –_

_And she runs and runs, into the deadly heart of Forgetful Valley, which is a place surely less tormented than the inside of her head –_

_And she runs, and at every turn she hears his voice, even though he stopping calling long since: _

"_AZULA!" _

_Azula!_

_Azula…_

_Zula…_

_azula._

_He loves._

_He loves a lot of things._

_He loves his nation and his honor, his dao swords and his scroll of pictures of his mother, holding them both as little children._

She_ loves things, too._

_A lot of them._

_She loves power. Power and strength, and strategy and wit and burning flames. _

_That kind of love – she can handle it._

_But he loves more._

_He loves his friends and his people, his servants and his soldiers. He loves his Mai like no one else and his Uncle Iroh more than anyone in the world._

_He loves._

_He loves…_

_He _loves_…._

_He…_

_Loves…_

_He…_

_Is…_

_A… liar._

_He does not._

_Love._

_Her._

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><p><strong>I loves critique. I loves it very much...<br>**

**But I wouldn't say no to a long, flowy review, either. ;)**

**hint, hint...  
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	2. Moon-Girl

_Forgetful Valley is a dark place. The trees and overgrowth are packed so tightly together that sunshine cannot penetrate the leafy canopy. The only way to tell whether it's night or day is by listening for the animals that only come out near midnight, howling and screeching and bellowing at the earth, at the sky, at each other. When they recede, they leave long, dragging claw marks on the trees and boulders, driving home one message: 'Be Afraid'._

_The only safe places to sleep are in the treetops, or on the shelves of rock that jut out of the cliffs, too high up for the night animals to reach. But even then, it's cold. It's scary. Living in Forgetful Valley is just that – full of forgetting. You forget the sound of your loved ones' voices. You forget the feel of sunlight. You forget everything that means anything, till the only thing left in your head is the fear, the insecurity that makes you wonder if you should even be trying this hard to survive._

_She's been here for so long, it's easy for her to tell when the night animals are getting ready to wake up. There is a distinct tension that gathers in the air; almost as though the plants and rocks themselves are bracing themselves for what's to come._

_She braces herself, too, and climbs up onto a shelf of rock, shaded by the towering cliff it's attached to. It leads into a small cave that is cold, but clean and dry. _

_She lies down, curls up into a ball, and waits for it to begin. _

"_My daughter –"_

_The voice comes out of nowhere, and she starts violently. She opens her eyes a crack and sees the face of her mother, beautiful and tear-streaked._

"_Go back – find your own destiny –" _

"_Leave me alone!" she hisses, clamping her hands over her ears and curling up more tightly. "Why do you have to do this every single night? Can't you leave me alone for once?"_

_Her mother opens her mouth to respond, but then she is shoved out of the way by a man with long, gleaming black hair and a pointed beard. _

"_Azula!" he thunders, his voice threatening. "How DARE you conspire with your mother against your Fire Lord! I sent you on this search to exploit your filthy brother's weaknesses, and what do you do?" His fingers twitch, as though they long to shoot the sparks they've been robbed of years ago. "You fall prey to your OWN whims! You, the one person I thought I could trust! You, girl, are nothing but a blight on this family!"_

"_I am NOT a blight on this family!" Azula cries back at him, glaring at him from beneath her arms. "I am the only descendant of Sozin who is worthy of the throne! Admit it, Father! You envy me as much as Mother feared me!"_

"_You… will... learn… RESPECT!" Ozai roars, and suddenly the flames are bursting from his palms, engulfing both rocklike fists. Very, very faintly, she can see the image of the Agni Kai Stage forming behind him, translucent against the trees of Forgetful Valley. "And suffering will be your teacher!"_

_His fist zooms towards her left eye, but just before it makes contact, a bloodcurdling howl shatters the silence of the night. Ozai vanishes, taking his flames with him, and Azula clutches her head, her breathing shallow. _

_The hallucinations are gone._

_Now time to deal with something just as frightening._

0o0

_Try as she might, Azula can't fall asleep – not because the rock is hard; she's gotten used to it ages ago. No, it's because she can hear the night animals loping through the valley below her, some thudding on four legs and others slithering through the underbrush. _

_She's learned to distinguish the sounds they make._

_Their howls of authority._

_Their hunting calls._

_Their growls out of fear of something more terrifying than they. _

_Azula picks at a bit of moss growing in a corner of the cave, listening to both the animal sounds and the clamor of human voices in her head, and realizes she isn't shivering because of the night wind._

0o0

_Eight and a half months._

_That's how long she's been in this eternal night._

_In that time, her tunic has become ragged and threadbare; her hair has grown long, falling almost down to her waist. Her nails are all broken from climbing trees and rocks to find shelter. And the shadows beneath her eyes have become so dark, so pronounced against her sheet-pale skin, that she could pass for a living corpse rather than a human being._

_She's no Fire Nation Princess._

_She's a hermit with no family, no belongings, and no sense of being anymore._

_Suddenly, anger flares up inside her, and she blasts a ball of blue fire into the cave's wall. Why HER? Why did SHE, of all people, have to plummet so far, hit rock bottom so hard? _

_And she –_

_BLAST!_

_Doesn't –_

_KRACK!_

_Have – the slightest – idea –_

_FWOOM! SHINK! CRACKLE!_

_What to do with herself now. _

_Kshhhhh…_

_Abruptly, the flames sizzle out, and Azula scrubs angrily at her eyes, which are stinging from the smoke. Tired, defeated. That's all she is right now._

_She raises her hands again and flicks a finger. A spark leaps forward and begins to burn in the center of the cave, quickly becoming a large, bluebell-colored bonfire. _

_Azula huddles close to it, pulls her knees up, and wraps her arms around them, her fingers digging so tightly into her calves that she feels bruises forming. She's shaking as the hallucinations dance through her cave, moving their mouths soundlessly – Azulon and Sozin, waving their crowns at each other and glaring; Avatar Roku watching them both, as though prepared to intervene if need be._

"_Get out of here," Azula hisses, and allows a whiplike lash of fire to stream out of her mouth. The flames explode against the cave's wall, and when the embers die away, the faces of the past are gone. _

_She makes a noise of frustration and hugs herself tighter. She hates these hallucinations…_

_Why won't they just go away…_

_She HATES this…_

_She hates everyone…!_

_Why her? Why her?_

_And why won't her own head let her FORGET?_

_Why won't it destroy that tiny voice inside her…_

_The one that's been speaking since… since…_

"_ARGH!"_

_Azula clutches her head and falls over, fire billowing out of her mouth in clouds, scorching the walls, tearing out into the night –_

_And then suddenly her flames are cut off; she chokes, struggling to regain her breath –_

_And freezes._

_Because standing before her is a girl with white hair and blue eyes, who glows with the silver-white light of the moon itself, who is most certainly not a hallucination._

_And she is smiling, the first smile Azula has seen in a long, long, long time._

_The fire princess's mouth is hanging open. She feels her mind moving in slow motion. Should she strike, or –?_

_The glowing girl stretches out a hand and gently closes Azula's mouth._

"_Sorry," she says. Her voice is quiet, like a night breeze. "Wouldn't want any bugs to fly into your mouth."_

_Azula finds her voice again. "Who are you?" she spits. "Stay back – I'm warning you!"_

_The girl raises her hands, not seeming the least bit afraid… and that makes Azula shrink back, just a little bit. "I don't mean to frighten you, Princess Azula. I only wondered why a fighter like you would resign herself to living this way. Forgetful Valley is a dangerous place…"_

"_How do you know my name? Where did you come from? Why are you glowing like that?" Azula demands. "Who are you?"_

"_My name is Yue," the girl says, and when Azula looks down, she realizes that the girl is floating a good three inches off the ground. "And I make my home in the moon." Yue tilts her head, gazing at Azula's dumbstruck face. Her expression is tender. Azula's is anything but._

"_Go back to the moon, then," Azula snaps, turning away, shaking. "I don't need your sappy sympathy."_

_Yue looks at her, and for some reason, sadness fills her eyes. "I didn't come here of my own accord," she says. "You were the one that called me here."_

"_Did I?" Azula growls, staring fixedly at the wall. This is a terrible dream. She can't tell if she's awake or asleep, because everything is shifting in and out of focus. "Well, now I'm sending you back. Why can't you stupid dream-people leave me alone?"_

"Is_ this a dream?" Yue says. She looks amused, and Azula doesn't like it._

"_No. I'm fairly sure it's a nightmare."_

_Yue laughs, and her glow becomes brighter. Azula glares at her._

"_I'm sorry," the glowing girl says, her smile melting away. "I didn't mean…" She trails off, looks into Azula's eyes searchingly. "Princess," she murmurs, almost to herself._

"_About time you showed some respect."_

"_I've learned much about you."_

"_Oh?" Azula snickers, but her laugh is humorless. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're just a hallucination – one of many. You don't know anything about me."_

"_I know you're a princess of the Fire Nation, who, merely a year ago, was poised to be the ruler of her people," Yue says quietly._

"_Who doesn't know that?" Azula snarls, feeling that sharp pang between her ribs._

"_And I know that you are bright and you're talented. Your fire burns brighter than anyone else's, and your skill as a warrior is unmatched. But…"_

"_But what?" she demands._

_Yue hesitates. "But since you were young, you've been lonely and isolated, even when you're in a group of friends. You're a gem in the eyes of your father, even though he's never shown you any affection other than an occasional pat on the head. You're used to being revered; you just want to be accepted. You claim to hate your family, yet deep down, you've awakened the spark of lo –"_

"_STOP!"_

_Azula is on her feet in a flash._

"_I don't LOVE anyone!" she hurls at Yue. "I am a master of fire and flame, deserving of praise and adoration! I don't need love! Now GET LOST!"_

_But Yue doesn't move, and after a moment, Azula collapses to the floor in a heap, trembling harder than ever before._

"_Go away," she whispers plaintively. "Just… go away."_

_She feels a slim finger under her chin, and then Yue tilts Azula's face upward. _

"_I remember what it's like," the girl from the moon whispers, "to be young, and to be afraid."_

_Azula can't move. _

"_I can help you," Yue says softly._

_Azula spasms, and a memory flashes through her mind –_

"_**Come back!**_

_**I can help you!**_

_**I WANT to help you!"**_

"_You want to help me?" Azula hisses, her voice breaking. "Do me a favor, then. Get these voices out of my head. And then – get rid of the people who made me this way."_

_Faces flash through her mind._

You don't want this,_ a lone voice in her head protests. _

Shut up!_ Azula commands it._

_Yue shakes her head. "I might be a healer, but I sense that what's in here…" She taps a finger on Azula's forehead. "It's not just a medical disorder. Your soul itself is restless."_

"_Perfect," Azula snips, but the insult is feeble. Her eyes are watering, and she roughly swipes at them. "Just prescribe me a few cups of soul-healing tea, then, and I'll be back to normal."_

_Yue sighs. "It is not so simple…"_

_Azula closes her eyes, and hears her father's voice roaring at her._

"_**Azula – control yourself!"**_

"_Why not?" she whispers, her voice trembling. "I hate this. I want..." She pauses, fixes the break in her voice. "I want to be normal again." _

"_I know."_

_Mixed emotions rise in Azula – anger and fear and hurt and something oddly painful, something she shoves back down again –_

_And an idea forms within her._

_If her mind becomes again full and unbroken…_

_If she is longer tormented by the ghosts of her past…_

_If she can regain her dignity, her honor…_

_She might be able to reclaim the throne._

_HER throne._

_Her rightful place in the world._

_The one HE took from her. _

_That's what she really wants._

_Isn't it?_

"_There must be some way," she bites out, not telling the moon-girl what's on her mind. "There must be some way for you to fix me…"_

"_There is," Yue says._

_Azula's heart leaps. "Tell me!"_

_Yue straightens, and the cave's temperature, despite the blue flames, becomes considerably colder. "Princess, is it truly your deepest wish to be cured of this disease? Do you wish to regain your true identity? And do you wish to free yourself from the chains placed on the core of you being?"_

_Azula looks into Yue's eyes and feels, for the first time in eight months, something like excitement rising within her._

_This is it._

_This is her chance –_

_**Azula, my daughter, **__Ursa pleads in her head. __**Stop this madness. The throne is not your destiny, it's Zu –**_

_DON'T EVER SAY THAT NAME AGAIN! Azula screams inwardly at her mother. _

_**He is your brother!**_

_HE – WANTS – ME – DEAD! _

_Ursa's sigh is almost too quiet to be heard. _

_**I wish, **__she whispers as she melts away, __**you wouldn't tell yourself such tales. You only hurt yourself in the end.**_

"_Well?" Yue says. Her expression is curious. Almost as though she knows what exactly is going on within the Fire Princess's head._

_Azula takes a deep breath. She hears that tiny voice – the only voice that's not a hallucination – speak up again, protesting. But she ignores it and turns to the white-haired girl before her._

"_Yes," she whispers. "It is."_

_Yue bends toward her, suddenly glowing as brightly as the full moon itself. "Then hold still."_

_The moon-girl reaches out and presses, with surprising strength, one finger on Azula's forehead and the other on the space just below Azula's collarbone. For a moment, nothing happens._

_And then the light bursts forth. _

_It's blinding, silver, and pure; it radiates from Azula's forehead and torso, streaming up Yue's fingers and cloaking her mystical figure in a veil of brightness. The light is hot. Very hot. And yet, there is no pain; just an uncomfortable feeling in Azula's lungs, as though the air within them has suddenly contracted. _

_Then Yue speaks in a voice that is nothing like her previous, musical lilt. This voice is deeper, reverberating and rolling. Powerful. _

"_**Princess Azula of the Fire Nation," **__Yue rumbles.__** "Your mind is broken, but your heart is even more so. Thus I, with my restricted capabilities, have chosen to help you. I, with my limited ability to administer remedies, can only heal half of what you desire – I will heal your mind of the faces that trouble you, but the voices will remain. These voices, too, will eventually vanish once you set foot on the path of your true destiny. But if you choose to stray away from your path, your problem will but worsen. I can show you the direction that will help you find your destiny, but it is upon you to see it through to the end. I can only light your torch; it is up to you to carry it."**_

_Yue withdraws her hands, and Azula collapses back against the rock wall, her head spinning. The moon-girl raises the princess back to her feet and turns Azula's head forward, so that she's staring out of the mouth of the cave._

_Stretching through Forgetful Valley is a path, one that had most certainly not been there a moment ago. It glows silver like Yue's light, winding like a great snake through the trees, as far as Azula can see._

"_Follow this path," Yue tells her. "Follow it as far as it stretches, and by the time you reach the end, you will be healed. If you don't… then there is nothing more I can do to help you."_

"_Ngh…" Azula blinks several times. Her eyelids suddenly feel heavy, and Yue's face blurs out of focus. "My throne… how will… I…"_

_Yue gently reaches out and brushes a lock of hair out of Azula's face – just like Ursa used to do. "When morning comes, begin walking," she says. "You'll know exactly where to go. Best of luck, Princess Azula."_

0o0

Azula awoke with a start.

Her head throbbed nastily, and when she sat up slowly and looked around, she saw that there were no traces of any fire anywhere – not even the blue bonfire she'd lit the night before.

She rubbed her eyes, feeling immensely disappointed.

"Stupid dream," she muttered, pulling herself slowly upright.

The forest beyond the cave was only slightly less dark than had been when she fell asleep. It was daytime at last. She climbed down from the rock shelf and dropped to the ground. Not too unexpectedly, there was no silver path – just trees, trees, and more trees, spreading in every direction.

Azula rubbed her temples with both hands. But that dream… it had felt so real…

_Well, _Azula scoffed at herself, _everyone knows you can't trust things that aren't real. Like hallucinations, for one. I bet that was what it was. Just a stupid –_

She stopped.

Without realizing it, she had begun walking… weaving her way through the trees…

_When morning comes, begin walking. You'll know exactly where to go._

Azula froze, her thoughts flashing back to the previous night's dream.

Perhaps this was another trick of her mind…

But then again…

…What did she have to lose?

Maybe, if she really did keep walking aimlessly, she would finally get out of this forsaken place.

And perhaps she really could find her destiny.

"Alright, _Yue_," Azula muttered at the dream-image, still firmly engraved in her head. Her thoughts flashed back to her thrown, her crown, both in the grasp of the wrong person. "You win. I'll start walking… we'll see if your promise holds true."

Not that she believed it would.

It had only been a dream, after all.

_**I will heal your mind of the faces that trouble you, but the voices will remain…**_

_**These voices, too, will eventually vanish once you set foot on the path of your true destiny… **_

_**But if you choose to stray away from your path, your problem will but worsen…**_

_**I can show you the direction that will help you find your destiny, but it is upon you to see it through to the end. **_

_**I can only light your torch; it is up to you to carry it.**_

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><p><strong>...Because everyone loves Azula-centric angst! :)<br>**

**Many thanks to all the reviewers! Your feedback makes my day! (It also keeps me distracted when I'm supposed to be doing my homework... but I never told you that.)  
><strong>

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**Peace,**

**Silverbells**


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